Practice Intentional Joy Every Day and Change the World.
Remember it, Name it, & Claim it. Start your Joy practice now.
Hi! I am really excited to kick off the summer with this blog! It’s a three part process to uncover and discover how to cultivate intentional joy. It’s the perfect leap into summer. You can listen to the audio in the free resource library. Read the transcript. Or both! Enjoy.
Today, I want to focus on the importance of cultivating our intentional joy.
—remembering it, naming it, and claiming it.
Sometimes we need to dig into the oddly difficult question of what brings us joy. We have a vague idea. We know it in the moment, when we taste our favorite ice cream or catch a gentle breeze.
But what about intentional joy?
Summer surroundings are ready to rekindle child-like wonderment and awe in simple summer joys. It’s in the nightly dancing of the fireflies, the fantastic flutter of hummingbird wings, and the rhythmic crash of waves on the beach.
The luscious taste of ripe peaches, the sweet drip of melting popsicles, and the sounds of a crackling bonfire. These pure pleasures are the precious gems of summertime, inviting us to step into the light with renewed vitality and connection.
It’s funny that we would even need to PRACTICE joy, but as pressures and responsibilities grow - we lose our connection. We forget that it’s even part of our range of human experience. I mean, we all go chasing happiness. But happiness is different.
There's this false belief about achieving happiness, —where you just get to a state of being and reside there. Forever. Poof, now you’re happy. But happiness can be fleeting because we often pin it to something outside of ourselves. But ,once we attain that thing or goal, we realize we're not necessarily in that feeling of happiness anymore; it tends to fade. And it doesn’t always inspire a deeper connection to anyone or anything.
Joy, however, roots us into our humanity. It’s the under-current we tap into in moments of awe. We can feel a deep interconnection between ourselves and the world around us- And we feel that we’re a part of something bigger than ourselves.
According to Brené Brown, JOY is a - "swirl of connection, pleasure, and appreciation."
It's in these overwhelming moments we get this unprompted gratitude. It overwhelms us, at times - moving us to tears. And in the end, we’re not just grateful for the specific thing that swells us full of joy - -We’re moved by the opportunity to feel joy itself.
To be reminded of our connection to everything around us. That is Joy.
Life’s little elements of surprise that draw us into an undeniable state of presence. Juiced on inspiration, we tap into a greater sense of aliveness.
Foreboding Joy. Waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Now, I want to touch on the human tendency of foreboding joy—
You know, where we want to keep joy at a distance because it feels emotionally safer . Instead it feels a little easier to have some control. Joy feels really vulnerable and we can get into this place where we're waiting for the other shoe to drop.
We want to downplay the pleasures of life because we fear that once they're lost. We will suffer. However, both joy and suffering are part of what strengthens our human fabric. Joy and suffering build empathy and compassion. And to push away or deny this unbridled joy for fear of loss only blocks us from our humanity.
To overcome foreboding joy, we have to trust ourselves and anchor into a confidence in our own capacity. We need to believe we can move through loss and trust it’s part of our growth.
So if we’ve forgotten how to access joy, how to choose joy, what can we do to recover joy in the midst of these challenging times, what can we do to call it in.
Celebrate Your Feelings: Allow yourself to fully celebrate feelings of joy and happiness without downplaying them. We were taught as children to keep it all low key. To be quiet and to control any kind of outburst…including laughter.
Remember Yourself: When experiencing joy, remember you don't lose yourself; you become more fully yourself.
Be Grateful: Be grateful for your capacity to feel joy and appreciate what sparked it.
Practice Intentional Joy: A 3 part process of remembering, naming, and claiming.
So if we’ve forgotten how to access joy… How can we bring our joy to the surface? How can we create a balance in our schedule that leaves space for our joys? How can we choose joy to recover a part of ourselves in the midst of these challenging times, …Practice Intentional Joy.
I've created this process to inspire you to find some time to claim and name your joys. Making sure it is part of your every day. Folding intentional joy into your life because it is your divine right. Because it is a golden thread of our human fabric. Because it keeps our nervous system in check. Not least of all, because you deserve it.
So grab your journal or a notebook and let’s get started.
1. Remember your Joy:
The first part is to look at the months ahead and write down all of your important dates.
How can you take full advantage of this season? What are you excited about in the coming days?
Write down dates of celebration, holidays you love to celebrate—whether they are on everyone’s calendar or something you claim for yourself. Write it all down and make it part of your schedule and seasonal routine. Make a ritual around these days, see them as important, and show up fully.
2. Name your Joy:
Part of this practice of intentional Joy is to spend a little time reflecting on what brings you joy : Are there certain places you love to visit? People you enjoy spending time with? Animals you cherish? Or maybe it’s a serene spot in nature?
Take some time to brainstorm and make a list of activities, adventures, goals, people and places that you can imagine sparking joy. Write them down and actually do them—don’t just think about them. Think about how and when to incorporate things from your list into your daily life.
3. Claim your Joy:
Realize the power that comes from trusting yourself enough to let go of control. You CAN navigate life as it comes. You do truly know what to do at any given moment. Take a deep breath. Listen in. And follow the whispers of the heart.
What is blocking your bliss?
What is holding you back from feeling pleasure?
Allowing yourself to feel joy requires you to fully let go into spontaneity. To give into the moment exactly as it is without judgment.
To overcome the fear of loss that can accompany the highs - of emotion like joy and love. And to not fear the lows - of loss and grief.
It takes quite a bit of confidence to abandon the protection mechanisms that we believe keep us safe from pain. We have to trust that we can feel the pain and still move on. We have to believe that we can move into loss and not lose ourselves, our sanity, our purpose. We have to trust in ourselves to know that we can take each situation and circumstance as it comes. We have to know that life is a series of comings and goings, of ebbs and flows. And most of all that we are strong enough to persevere.
Joy Hacks. Your Emergency First Aid Kit
If you don’t have time to do a deep dive you can spend a little time establishing your “go to” list that allows you to quickly recover and discover your connection to yourself and your joy. Think of these as your emergency first aid kit.
Investing in Joy. Have these on the ready…
One Song
One photo (capturing a happy memory)
One item of clothing
One accessory(jewelry, hat, scarf, etc..)
One color
One Scent
One meal
One place
One activity
One person
One book
One film
One luxury item
Or choose one simple phrase that reminds you to claim your joy.
What’s your joy mantra? (I choose Joy)
Intentional joy is important for balancing anxiety and depression. When we find joy, even in the smallest things, our brain releases happy hormones like endorphins, serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine. These hormones soothe pain, reduce stress, promote bonding, and bring a sense of accomplishment and pleasure.
Cultivating intentional joy is a powerful practice that reconnects us with the full range of our human experience. We can get so lost in these other emotive places and completely shut down any access to our joy. Our responses to life become habitual and we lean into patterns and cycles that reinforce what we are most familiar with - for a lot of us that becomes worry, fear, sadness, and anger.
But by remembering, naming, and claiming our sources of joy - we even out the ups and downs. We have to retrain our brain and for as often as we let it venture into uncomfortable thoughts - we have to remind ourselves of the capacity of peace and joy that are available to us. It takes practice.
