Gratitude is a superpower.
Flex your gratitude muscles & save the world.
When you turn on the morning news it’s easy to want something better for the world. You fill your favorite mug, the one inscribed “be the change you wish to see,” yet feel defeated before you even start your day. We’ve been sold the idea we don’t have what we need. In our quest to own new cars and faster cell phones; we hoard, waste, and destroy every resource on the planet. We need more. We need better. This is our collective kryptonite.
Chin up, friend. You can put Gandhi's inspiration into practice with some good ol’ fashion appreciation. We heal our relationships and the planet one “thank you” at a time, when we stop taking things for granted. It’s greed versus gratitude. Master gratitude and you’ve nailed it!
Gratitude saboteurs: 7 ways to defeat them and save the world.
1. Entitlement, end the trend.
Entitlement poisons the well. Blinded in our specialness, we put ourselves first because we believe we deserve to. We take what we want at the expense of everyone else. Whether we are cutting people off in traffic to get there faster or demanding to be an exception to the rules. We want more. We want extra. We want first. We make ourselves the most important.
Resolution: Hold the door open.
When I was mentoring up and coming yoga teachers, I assigned them the simple task of holding the door open for someone else. I challenged them at every opportunity, even in the middle of a busy day, to hold the door open and let someone else go first. It was a chance to practice patience, not-so-random acts of kindness, and initiate a moment of connection. This simple exchange was a chance to show appreciation for being able to share that time and space, if even for just a moment.
2. Cancel Comparison Culture.
With every click, like, follow, and post, we are plunged into the depths of comparison culture. Social media can get the best of us. As we scroll through our feeds, we’re suddenly dissatisfied with the things we have, who we are, and what we do. It's easy to be convinced we aren't attractive enough, skinny enough, smart enough, rich enough, successful enough…….ENOUGH. These trappings of “enoughness” keep us playing small.
Resolution: Gratitude Journal
Take a step away from the noise. Set aside some time daily to jot down 3 things you’re grateful for. Celebrate all that you’ve created for yourself. Be in appreciation to those who support you along the way. Be grateful not only for what you have, but who you are. You have your own brand of magic in your talents, perspectives, and experiences. In you, there is a uniqueness that is like no other. There is no comparison.
3. Ditch the Scarcity mindset.
With every commercial break a scarcity mindset can take hold. Despite our empire of stuff, we are duped into thinking it’s inadequate. The tech world dangles carrots saying we need newer, faster, better. With shiny new toys and spitfire marketing, we’re led to believe we are living in lack. We’re lost in a haze of never ending consumption.
Resolution: Abundance list
Get a piece of paper and make a list of all the ways that abundance comes to you. Begin to look at circumstances differently. Stop the cascade of thoughts and emotions that are triggered by thinking about what you don’t have. Instead put your recognition toward what you do. Sit with it. Work at it. Until you have moved the needle toward seeing your prosperity.
4. Quit taking people for granted.
One of the most damaging things to a relationship is taking a loved one for granted. Saying , “thank you” nourishes the connection. In a heartfelt exchange of gratitude, we get a little bump of oxytocin, the neurochemical of bonding. It activates us in our life and relationship. We draw more meaning from our shared experiences.
Resolution: Thank you letters
Put pen to paper. Write three thank you letters to people you owe thanks. Tell a family member or partner how grateful you are to have them in your life. Take a minute to acknowledge someone from the community. Graciously let them know how they make your life easier on a daily basis. Think how much your postal worker would love to get a letter!
5. Retrain your brain: Flip the switch on negative thinking.
When we are looped in a pattern of negative thinking our animal nature is keyed into survival. The nervous system assesses what kind of response is needed to survive or thrive. When we believe we don’t have enough, our “fight or flight” mechanism kicks in. Under the influence of stress hormones we are locked in this state of restless dissatisfaction, anxiously searching for more.
Conversely, A simple exchange of thanks can release dopamine and serotonin, two neurotransmitters that contribute to feelings of joyful contentment. We relax into a state of “tend and befriend”. The parasympathetic system downregulates and our demeanor becomes more receptive and at ease.
Resolution: Complaint fasting.
Challenge yourself to a 24 hour period that you cannot complain about anything to anyone, not even yourself! If you catch yourself complaining: Open your journal. Write the complaint and then take a moment to reframe the negative thought. Name instead what is positive inside of that moment. With frequent practice, new neural pathways are formed as our perspective widens to recognize the good in a situation.
6. Pause for the cause.
Our ingratitude isn’t malicious. We simply forget to take a break and BE in our gratitude. We have become too busy and preoccupied. We never slow down to recognize in between goals and to-dos, what we’ve actually accomplished. The good fortunes that contributed to all we’ve acquired go unacknowledged. There is a disconnection between what we have and how we got there.
Resolution: Find your touch stone.
Use an object to remind you to stop and take a moment to reflect. Go on a walk and find a rock to carry in your pocket. Throughout the day you can hold it. You can put it on your desk. Give yourself a physical reminder to take a few moments out of your busy day to breathe and BE grateful.
7. Take your life off of Automatic pilot.
It’s easy to drop into one dimensional living. Existing on auto-pilot to keep things routine and regulated. Before too long life begins to seem flat. Everything feels very measured and limited. We are living, but not alive. It takes a little adventure to break the monotony and come to your senses.
Resolution: Live through your senses.
Can you remember being in a place so beautiful it takes your breath away? Left moved and awe struck in a moment of complete absorption, meaning flooded back into life. Engaged in a deep sensory experience, something resuscitated you. As gratitude overflows in the heart, there are no words.
“Be the change you wish to see.”
In gratitude, quiet the craving for more. Release the scarcity mindset, open your eyes to what you do have. While it is true you are not guaranteed anything, you do deserve a life of awe and wonder. Find where the magic is hiding and don’t take it for granted. Celebrate your body by living through your senses. Be grateful enough to invest in yourself with care.
Cancel comparison culture and see the greatness of your skills and talents. There is an intrinsic motivation to be a better person to our people, to become more generous with each other and the world. Our social networks become enduring in this reciprocity. In interconnectedness every structure of human support is acknowledged. The more often we drop into appreciation, the more meaning filters through. Appreciation becomes a currency and in it we are wealthy.
