FOMO vs MO: the introvert/ extrovert dilemma.
To do or not to do?...
Summer schedules are in full swing, and it's easy to get swept up in the high energy and activity of these months. Perhaps we feel the pressure to make this summer the best one yet, filled with the excitement of countless places to go and people to see. Everyone on Instagram seems to be showcasing only their awesomeness, and we may find ourselves trying to keep up with flashy counterparts, maybe we are trying to replicate a version of our younger selves. This comparison culture can keep our foot heavy on the accelerator. However, what we truly need to maintain a healthy balance is a well-executed social ratio, which poses a dilemma for both introverts and extroverts. To do or not to do?… That is the question.
By now, you probably know which way your personality leans, an extrovert who draws energy from being in the company of others? Or are you an introvert, someone who feels drained by excessive social interaction? We can get so caught up in playing out these lifestyle doctrines we’ve created for ourselves, we begin to lose our way forward. Within the spectrum of introverted and extroverted traits, we often find ourselves entangled in two modern phenomena: the infamous FOMO, fear of missing out, and the lesser explored MO, missing out. Both instances can lead to physical and emotional distress.
FOMO, Slow your roll.
Extroverts can get caught up in the pressures of FOMO, overcommitting and overscheduling their lives out of the fear of missing something important. They believe in the urgency of being in the right place at the right time. The focus is rarely on what is gained, but rather an illusion of what is lost. The undercurrent of this type of anxiety, fantasizing about all of the other better scenarios, is a complete waste of creative energy. This mindset perpetuates an ever-increasing pursuit of perfection - the perfect experience, the perfect moment. In constant dissatisfaction, there will always be something better somewhere else.
Drunk on comparison, there is a drive to experience everything that everyone else does. The big problem here is there are only so many hours in a day, some are better spent on self-care and sleep. The emotional investment is great, but the return is often small. Extroverts can easily neglect the need for introspection and solitude, leading to an energy deficiency that ultimately results in burnout and illness. The stakes are high and despite the allure of summer fun, this season demands replenishment. We must continually restore the vital energy that has been depleted.
(don’t get me started on YOLO)
The Fomo guide for everyone’s favorite extrovert:
Cultivate contentment and gratitude.
Stop sacrificing the present.
Quit fantasizing about things that could be better.
Get in touch with the reality of imperfections. Nothing is perfect.
Slow your roll.
Set boundaries for yourself.
MO. Let yourself be received. There are things in you that need to be shared.
Introverts are dear to my heart and close to my composure. There is a real fear of commitment when it comes to making plans with others. What if the day arrives and I am not in the right mood or I have too many deadlines looming? What if I get a creative burst that I can’t pull out of because I will lose my connection? Sound familiar? Okay my fellow introvert gather ‘round.
Occasionally, introverts may feel a twinge of FOMO pressure, believing they should be doing more, giving more, and seeing more. Yet, the idea of making plans to engage in these activities can feel daunting. Most introverts hate the feeling of obligation. Attuned to their energy levels and needs they like to operate from the here and now. However, this is where the concept of MO comes in, the simple truth of missing out. While we don’t have to enjoy everything or everyone out in the world, we are asked to be a part of it. We are requested to contribute to the world outside of ourselves. We are meant to be engaged in the experience of living.
There is a genuine human need to experience life firsthand. Living vicariously can become dangerous. There is a finite understanding of what is out there when seeing the world only through the rectangles of windows, screens and books. Living becomes one dimensional and our personal growth and perception is constricted. Monotony starves our creativity and diminishes our vitality. There is only one way to truly understand how we are nurtured and fulfilled. Keeping strong in our senses, so we can feel, see, taste, smell and touch things for ourselves. Boldly draw life in.
The MO guide for everyone’s favorite introvert:
Let yourself be received. There are things in you that need to be shared.
Set boundaries for people, time, and space. Create a container for your social engagement.
Commit. Show up.
Quit projecting your assumptions on the future.
Decipher your nervous energy. Is it anxiety or excitement?
Make sure you are fueled well with rest and nourishment.
Brahmacharya, resource your creative power.
The yogic tradition offers a list of "do's and don'ts" to cultivate an elevated approach to life. The yamas and niyamas embody this yoga of relationships, guiding us in how we relate to the world and ourselves. One of these principles is Brahmacharya, which involves maintaining a relationship with our own vital energy. It teaches us to preserve our life force, nurture our creative essence, and conserve our sexual energy. It is a matter of consistently adjusting the sails, like a boat. If propelled by too strong a wind the boat capsizes, but if the external force of the wind is insufficient, the boat stalls.
We have to consider how our energy needs to be conserved or infused. Like all wealth, we need to balance our pranic budget. Our vital energy is a precious resource after all. Those in FOMO mode fantasize about better things happening elsewhere, while those in MO assume that participation will drain rather than nourish them. Reclaiming our balance and vitality requires dedicated reflection.
It's crucial to get real about our schedules. It is a matter of looking at the month or season ahead and prioritizing activities that align with your values. What are we engaging with and what are we choosing to relinquish? It's important to put things on the calendar that fulfill your bucket list. At the same time, be aware of goals that are no longer relevant and add them to your "f**k it list," give yourself permission to let go of things you no longer wish to do.
Finding a social ratio means being open to accepting invitations and committing to plans that allow you to be in community. However, it's equally essential to designate blocks of time for slowing down and practicing self-care. In Brahmacharya, we conduct our vital energy to recalibrate to our highest creative potential. Mirrored, even in the balance of each breath ~inhale, introvert ~ exhale, extrovert.
